Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Pregnancy and irritability

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and extremely irritable.  I am unmotivated.  I am impatient.  I am miserable.  I've had a pretty difficult pregnancy this time around.  I figured having done this 3 times already, it wouldn't be a big deal. 

Every pregnancy horror there is, I've got it.  Heartburn, insomnia, gestational diabetes, low lying placenta, bleeding, inflamed pelvic cartilage are just a few treats.  I am absolutely miserable.  I don't want to do anything.  I want to sleep until this little guy is here. 

I can't sit for very long which makes work super fun.  I have a desk job and I sit for about 8 hours straight.  I have to eat every few hours or else I pass out.  I forget quite frequently.  I'm used to eating one big meal a day and then about one or two small meals the rest of the day.  I can't do that now.  I have to eat ALL THE TIME and I hate it.

Just 6 more weeks.  I tell myself it's only 6 more weeks.  I made it this far, I can do 6 more weeks.  Then I can start to feel human again.  I can't wait

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Learn Tarot Exercises from

I love my tarot deck.  I have been playing around with my Devious Moon deck for years.  But I haven't really taken it very serious.  I want to change that.

I stumbled upon a site called Learn Tarot.  It looks like this is a free online course taking you through the deck in a different way than what I've seen before.  I don't have to learn what the teacher thinks the card means.  She tells you to interpret each card in a way that has meaning to you, the reader.  I think that's awesome.  Sometimes a card can appear to tell a story in different way depending on various circumstances; how you're feeling, the question asked, etc. 

There are exercises for every lesson.  I think this will be fun.

Exercises for Lesson 1

Exercise 1.2 - Getting to Know a Card

Shuffle your tarot deck and choose a card. Look at the image for a while. Ask yourself these questions:
  • What story do I see in the picture?
  • What emotions do I feel?
  • How do the details in the picture reinforce those ideas?
  • What is the overall mood?
  • What do I think this card might mean?

This one I will do for every card.  I want to know each card and be familiar with them.  I notice with my readings, I get the same few cards over and over.  But when I try to read someone else, I'm surprised with cards I've never seen and it throws me off.  I think this will help tremendously.

Exercise 1.3 - How Do I Contribute to "Random" Events?

Choose an event from your past in which you felt victimized by forces over which you had little control. List ways you actually did contribute to this event.

This is kind of similar to something I do at work.  We have to list out 5 reasons why a system failed or any other such event causing an end user issues.  That way you can see all different ways you failed to see the big picture and to (hopefully) learn not to let it happen again.
Bloomington, IN  Photo credit

 The first thing that comes to mind is getting stuck here in the little town I live in.  I intended to move to Bloomington, IN where I was registered and admitted to IU.  I arranged for an apartment for my sister, infant son, boyfriend and I near campus.  It was also close enough to Indianapolis where I spent a year making friends and acclimating to Midwest life (to an extent) months earlier.  I thought everything was all set to start a new life.  So how did I end up in Richmond, IN???

Richmond, IN     Photo credit
  • I didn't save enough money to pay for the deposit
  • I didn't have a driver's license and couldn't drive the truck
  • I didn't stand up for myself and refuse to live here
  • I depended on someone else to help finance the move
  • I thought literally running from problems would solve them
  • I refused all advice from family and friends
Well....   these were choices I made that led to "getting stuck" here.  This didn't randomly happen to me.  Granted, knowing this, I still can't accept it.  lol  But that isn't the point of the exercise.  It is to open my eyes and make me realize that nothing "happens".  There are no random events.

Tomorrow, I will do the next 2 exercises.  They are Answers from Nowhere and You Can Get What You Need